Jonny-4

yourplayersaidwhat:

DM: Among the bards you see a red Dragonborn female. She has very big… [ pauses to look at notes ]
Me: … Titties?
DM: NO !!! BONGOS !!!

Why you don’t let me DM

yourplayersaidwhat:

For context, there was a dragon.
High elf mage(ooc): “…Can I just tell it to fuck off?”
[whole party laughs]
DM: “Roll for intimidation.”
High elf mage(ooc): [rolls] “NAT FUCKING 20!”
[entire room bursts into laughter]
DM: “Okay, so you- [laughs] -you walk up to the dragon, he’s looking at you like ‘what the fuck’, you just scream ‘FUCK OFF’ as loud as you can- like in the sand guardian vine- and the dragon just falls backwards, knocking over trees, he scrambles to his feet and flies off.”
[Entire room still laughing.]
DM: “Oh, and the rest of the party takes 1 damage from laughing pain.”
Wood elf archer(ooc): “I’M DEAD. THANKS.”
DM, laughing: “I swear I’m nice.”

zicygomar:

invenblocker:
wall-maria-around-ba-sing-se:
ghostyrivergirl:
radicalseabies:
radicalseabies:
if ur an 8ft gerudo lady hmu
remember in botw how theres that one gerudo girl crying in the bar bc her bf dumped her for being “too tall”, and she cries like “whats that supposed to mean, im only 8 feet tall” like wtf im gonna find that dude and hes gonna catch these hands anyway if ur 8 feet tall DM me
They way she says “only” implies 8 feet is below average for Gerudo height.
In the Hyrule Historia, Ganondorf is stated to be 7’6’’. So with this in mind, we know that Ganondorf, the Demon King, the Prince Of Darkness, is very short for a Gerudo
Ganon turned evil because he was a manlet.

(via krunkidile)

ms-cellanies:

dreamers-queen:
feminists-against-feminism:
abumohammed50:
إنسانية 🕊️
‏نزعت الخطاف من فم احد القروش وعند مشاهدة القروش الاخرى لذلك صارت القروش تأتي لنفس المكان لنزع الخطاف من فمها علما ان هذه القروش لا تحب ان يلمسها احد.
هذا في البهاما والغواصة ،خلال الـ 15 سنة الماضية ، أزالت 250 خطاف.
“She removed the hook from the mouth of one of the sharks and with other sharks watching, so the sharks come to the same place to to get hooks removed from their mouths. Note [???]

In the Bahamas and [???], over the past 15 years, she has removed 250 hooks.”
This is like that “how wonderful, then, to live in a world full of creatures that love to be petted” post. Beautiful.
She is inspirational. PLEASE REBLOG.
We MUST take care of wildlife.